Sorry Not Sorry by Jaime Reed

Author:Jaime Reed
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.

“Come on, Janelle. No one will know it’s you.” Alyssa slapped her hall pass against her thigh in an impatient beat as she checked her phone. “The bell’s about to ring in three minutes.”

We stood outside of Mr. Russo’s art class, casing the row of lockers across the hallway. The corridor had to be free of witnesses, so we’d gotten out of social studies at the same time to make the drop. It had to go down during last period to avoid risking Mateo losing the note between classes. Alyssa had planned our operation down to the second. All that was missing was the Mission: Impossible theme song piping through the intercom. And my courage.

My head shake came off like a tremor as I literally held my heart in my hand. Crushed between my fingers was pent-up emotion inside heart-shaped pink construction paper. Every wish, fear, and daydream I’d hidden since last semester was carefully spelled out in colored marker and scratch-and-sniff stickers. None of Alyssa’s matchmaking efforts had worked, and we’d only seen Mateo a few times during summer break anyway. So she’d decided on the anonymous approach in a controlled area, which meant waiting until the first week of school.

“I can’t. Here, you do it.” I handed the note to her.

She held her hands in the air and backed away. “No, no, no. And by the way, no.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not my letter, not my feelings, and not my crush,” she replied. “If you’re not brave enough to be a secret admirer, then you don’t deserve having a public boyfriend.”

Whoa! Jumping the gun a bit, weren’t we? I’d settle for a simple wave in the hallway. “I’m not asking for one!”

“Yes you are, but you’re too chicken to go after what you want. It’s the perfect way to tell him how you feel without all that goofy stuttering you do. It’s therapeutic.” She scooted behind me and gave me a shove. “You got two minutes before our entire mission goes bust. Now hurry up. I’ll keep a lookout.” Staying close to the wall, she skirted to the end of the hallway and peeked around the corner.

Alyssa made everything a special ops mission: dress shopping for the school dance, raising money for class field trips, getting dirt on some girl she didn’t like. It was all done with high stakes and action movie flair.

I drew in a deep breath and placed one foot in front of the other. I’d memorized his locker number, which stood exactly eighty-two feet and forty-six lockers away from mine. We were practically roommates.

“Ninety seconds,” she whispered.

“I’m going! Gosh!” My hand reached up and aimed the card into the locker’s vent. Then it got stuck. The note was too wide and the ends began to tear when I tried to force it in. Pulling it out would rip it even more. “It won’t go in,” I told her.

“Oh my God! Must I do everything around here?” She stomped to my side and yanked loose the card, causing a sticker to fall by my feet.

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